Tips for Lab Work

I'm in the middle of planning an investigation for Chemistry and I found these rules for the lab:

1. If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.
2. When you don't know what you're doing, do it neatly.
3. In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.
4. Team work is essential, it allows you to blame someone else.
5. All unmarked beakers contain fast-acting, extremely toxic poisons

I am going to ace this section!! I chose to make mine about rates of reaction and the such like for a bromine reaction because that allows me to do as much maths as possible and forget I am in chemistry! Plus I can avoid too much practical work since that seems to be my weak point...