Que Sera Sera

So I finally heard from Oxford but I didn't get an interview. I thought I was going to feel horrible and rubbish when I got rejected but I don't. I just feel a bit weird because I no longer have this constant worry! I can honestly say that I'm sure this will be a blessing in disguise. I'm really looking forward to going to Warwick (assuming I get the grades) and I'm saved the pressure of an interview. I would much rather be rejected before interview rather than after because I think I would take it more personally. The worst part was telling people and now its over and it wasn't even that bad! Here's the proof:

Interview practise

Today I had a mock interview for Oxford and it was really really really useful! I came home buzzing but then I checked facebook and found out that my friend got a rejection from Oxford and it really brought me back down to earth. I was so sure she would get an interview, I mean she's pretty much perfect for Oxford but her course is really over subscribed and the competition is fierce... I have a pretty good idea of how she is feeling but I'd like to say now to remind myself when I get all depressed about being rejected that this really has been a good experience. Preparing for the entrance exam and getting ready for an interview have all been really useful, worthwhile things. So until then I just have to wait!

So anyway, back to being excited about the mock interview! At first I was totally terrified! I had to walk through this extrodinarily grand private school, I mean it was so posh I felt like I was in Oxford already! By the way, I don't mean posh in a negative way, the people there were really firendly and down to earth, it was just so pretty it felt unreal! And then I walked up some stairs and went into the interviewers office. My heart was pounding and at first I thought i was out of breath from the stairs and I genuinely concerned! But it must just have been nerves I think...

So then the head of Physics came to join us and the questioning began. I'm not naturally a confident person and this was very obvious during the hour! I will try to work on that because I really don't want it to be something that will hold me back. So there were some general questions on my personal statement which was interesting because they picked up on a few things I hadn't thought of such as challenging me over my critical thinking grade and my participation with the gifted and talented scheme I listed.

Then we started the bit that was really good. The Physics teacher asked me if the earth requires 14 million watts to turn, if he were to vapourize me then how long could I keep to world going for. I was incredibly impressed by the question and then even more impressed that I actually found an answer and talk through it.

I also missed ONE WEEK of looking through the news and I had no idea what they were talking about... Seriously, who knew the news was updated so regularly? Anyway, I have quite a few areas of improvement but I feel better that it isn't quite as impossible as I first imagined!

More Excuses...

Here I am again after a few weeks of no posts and I feel the need to explain my absence. Though of course it is of no interest to you at all, it makes me feel better if my laziness is justified! Well not exactly laziness because I really have been doing physics! Almost too much physics in fact!

So a lot of time was taken up with my UCAS form. Even though I told you that I had finished my personal statement it turns out that my teacher had other ideas... After returning it to her several times I finally managed to convince her that the day before the deadline was really leaving it late enough and off it went! I was happy with my personal statement at the time and of course I was over the moon with my choices but now I feel anxious and edgy whenever I think about it. Was I too enthusiastic? And is my statement really anything more than mediocre? I made the fatal mistake of offering to read through some other peoples statements at school and couldn't help but notice if they sounded exactly like me or better than me...

And now I feel sick at the thought of Oxford. I really don't think that I am good enough to go there so why on earth should they?! The only comforting thought is that I would truly have regretted it if I hadn't even applied because I honestly would love to go there. But I won't let myself be disappointed. I would just as equally love to go to any of the other choices. Physics is physics after all and that is pretty much the only decision that I'm 100% happy with. Well most of the time... And at least if I fail miserably with the physics aptitude test next Wednesday I don't have to worry about the interviews anymore! Because I watched a video about the physics interviews and I honestly had nightmares about it!

Recently I started revising for this physics aptitude test and that was around the time I started getting quite panicky about Oxford. I also made the mistake of looking at a few Internet forums and people were calling the tests easy! So far I haven't got more than 40% in a test so I guess I'll just have to do a few more practises and hope I get better...